Entering into an intimate relationship can be a scary thing.
Consider what is at stake.
On the one hand, we are a social species. We are wired to desire connection with others, both physical and emotional. We are, by nature, interdependent

On the other hand, in some real sense, each of us is a universe unto ourselves. On an individual basis, we long to express ourselves in an authentic way. In pursuit of the expressing our true selves, we resist the pull of others we think are trying to control us.

So… entering into relationship means we are feeling the tension between being ourselves and merging with another. The central question is: “Where do I end, and you begin? How do I navigate those boundaries?

The answer, I believe, is simple and and yet profound:
Know yourself, to the very core of your being… and continue to be self-reflective.
Out of personal reflection you will discover a sense of self that is solid and non-negotiable
Find someone who is equally devoted to self-reflection, and share your emotional life with this person.

Ideally, you are each living your full potential, at the same time as you are co-creating a third entity, which is the relationship. It is possible to do this, because you are devoting yourself to supporting your partner as much as you support yourself. The results prove the truth of the saying. “The whole is much more than the sum of the parts”