Many aspects of our lives have been affected by recent “shelter in place” and quarantine directives. Among the changes and adjustments we have had to make concern the world of “dating”. Sure…. we’ve had online and mobile dating apps for a while. What’s different now, though, is that there is an indefinite time between “meeting” someone new online and then following up by meeting them in person. Is this a good thing, or a bad thing?
Actually, in some ways I think a prolonged period of getting to know someone “virtually”, can be a good thing. “Slowing down” the process of courtship may allow two people to get to know one another on a deeper more intimate level before the “chemistry” of attraction complicates things. You may even find yourself feeling that its “safer” emotionally to be more vulnerable and “open” than you might allow yourself to be in person. The key is to focus on really being your true self, rather than who you might like to be, or think you “should” be.
IN OTHER WORDS, BE AUTHENTIC
Authenticity means being real, and maybe even flying your “freak flag” around a bit.
It means allowing yourself to be imperfect, and even humanly flawed.
It also means not covering up or changing anything about yourself, based on what you think might be “better” or more acceptable to the person you are talking to.
With prolonged “online” relationships, the stakes are not so high, and you are less likely to be hurt when things don’t work out. If you have not yet invested your “body” in a relationship, you can “let go” more easily.
OTHER ADVANTAGES TO MORE EXTENDED ONLINE DATING?
How about the fact that you can take a “deep dive” into being curious about this other person very early on in the relationship? You can find out if they are really “right” for you as a lifelong romantic partner before you make the physical commitment. Maybe this person is great as a “friend” but that’s as far as it will go…and that’s OK. Maybe you will find yourself making an excellent lifelong friend.
There is nothing wrong with that.
TAKING IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL
If this turns out to be a relationship that holds promise for you both, there will come a time when you’ll meet in person. At this point you will have already become “friends” in a more emotionally intimate, committed sense. Starting a more romantic relationship as good friends is a great way to start.
Ironically, the pandemic which has forced so many of us to forgo physical connection for a time, may have something to teach us about how to have more secure physical/emotional relationships in the long run.