Its difficult to live comfortably in the “hopefully soon to be” post pandemic era.  We are bombarded these days with mixed messages about what is going on with Public health no matter where we live, and this confusion affects every aspect of our lives.  “Who can we trust?”  “Who should we believe?”  When contemplating all of this, it occurred to me that we are currently all “called” to develop two key character traits as we navigate current circumstances.  We must have faith and we must have patience.

At the most basic level, the faith we are called to have right now is the faith that we will all is ok.  We will survive this challenging time…and maybe even learn to thrive. It’s an existential faith really, but where do we get it?  Where can we find it?

One way to call upon faith is though religious or spiritual practice.  That works well for some folks.  For others, developing faith might begin with a process of “remembering”…that is remembering what you can and do have faith in. Do you have faith in yourself for example, or do you have basic faith in your primary relationships or the ability of the sun to rise and set each day? Believing in all of these things is actually an act of “faith” so take time to remember the miracle of everyday life…every day.

Along with this…you might try gratitude, as this will strengthen your faith as you give thanks.

As for Patience, it can be challenging to be patient when you feel the ground literally shifting under your feet as you listen to the rules change about what you can and cannot do. It can make your head spin to try and keep up with it.

To develop patience, I would also suggest the practice of remembering. Try remembering all of the many things you have accomplished in your life and how it often takes time.  Remember the old adage, “All good things come to those who wait”.  Also, keep in mind that the ability to “wait” patiently for the results you seek, also referred to as the ability to “delay gratification”, is highly correlated with long term happiness, long life, and success.  Yes, it’s true. Studies bear this out.

So, take a moment. Remember all that you have faith in and focus on developing and expanding this faith. Then, be patient with your world, and be patient with yourself.  Give thanks for all of your blessings and dream confidently of better days ahead.

When we are surrounded with quality relationships, we live longer and happier lives.  What is sometimes overlooked though, is that we must also strive to have a healthy relationship with ourselves.  How do you feel about yourself?  Do you like the way you show up in the world?  Do you like who you are becoming on this wild and crazy ride called life? Are you “growing” or are you “stagnating” on your journey? 

It many sound trite, but it is also true that if you don’t like yourself, you are making it harder for others to like, and want to be around you.

We hear a lot, I believe, about people who “don’t live up to their potential”.  Maybe this was how you were viewed. The question then becomes, “What is my potential?”  “Who gets to determine this, and how do I know when I get there?” These are all thorny and complicated questions to be sure, and can only be answered when you spend some time discovering your true and “authentic” self. Only then can you set out goals for yourself and do your best to reach those goals.  

It becomes a problem, I think, when you have expectations for yourself that are unrealistically high, and/or too informed by others who constantly tell you they expect “great things” from you.  This is where the concept of perfectionism comes in. “Perfectionistic” thinking means that everything you do must be “perfect”, and that anything “less” than perfect is, by definition, not “good enough”.  Of course, nothing is ever perfect so it becomes a set up for never feeling that you are good enough…at anything you do.  Also, if you have “internalized” an inner “critic” that is constantly judging and comparing yourself to others, you can end up feeling quite depressed, hopeless, and anxious.  It is a very high cost to pay.

So…how can we deal with our “inner critic” and perfectionistic thinking?

A good place to start would be to change your relationship to the concept of failure.  If you start a project and it doesn’t work the way you had hoped, have some patience with yourself, and make an assessment of how to do it differently next time. Expect failure as an important part of learning.  Try again.

As a bonus of learning to expect failure, you will find yourself trying new things that you would not have tried before. Often Perfectionistic people restrict their activities to things they “know they are good at”, and therefore cut themselves off from enriching and fun experiences.

When you take the requirement of “perfectionism off of the table for doing things with others, you will also find you have more harmonious relationships.  This is because you don’t have to be the “best” at everything.  You can let others “win” sometimes and be ok with that. You can even celebrate with them .You can, in fact, strive to be more like someone you admire.  

So…let yourself off that “perfectionistic” hook.  Concentrate instead on the experience of doing whatever it is you are doing. Enjoy yourself and enjoy being with others in a truly happy state of mind.