When I was in my fifties, I’d have conversations with friends, family members, and colleagues who were just entering their seventies.  I noticed that for many of them their own mortality was becoming very real. I’d listen of course, and do my best to empathize with them, but secretly I would be thinking: “Not me…when I reach my seventies it will be different”.  “I’m going to be vibrant, accepting, and full of gratitude for the “privilege” of attaining this milestone.

HA!!   Now that I’m 71 everything looks different to me.  It’s such a lesson in “you don’t know till you get there”. I too am now facing some very existential questions like “Who am I now?” “What is my purpose moving forward?’ I’m having trouble recognizing and valuing the “old” woman I now see in the mirror.  I’m aghast at the arrogance of my 50-year-old self to think I would not go through this.

What I have come to realize is that “ageism” has internalized within me.  I preach “self acceptance” all the time but in truth I have not fully accepted my own aging self.  I fight it.  I too try to appear “younger” and am flattered when people say, weather truthfully of not, “you don’t look your age”. Here is what I’ve discovered about how to reach a higher degree of self acceptance, and acceptance of the reality of my own “third act”:

Do A Life Review

As the decades fly by we often find ourselves forgetting all of our accomplishments, as well as all the experiences that led us to the place we are now. For me, it’s been really helpful to go back as far as I can remember and reflect upon the “turning points” that led me in one direction as opposed to another.  Through this exercise I’ve been able to acknowledge that I’ve surmounted some pretty big obstacles to be where I am now.  Now I can quietly celebrate myself as I remember this long journey.

It’s very affirming.

Reflect Upon Your Unfinished Business

In my life review, along with remembering all that led me to where I am now, I’m also remembering the things I kind of “let go” along the way. What about my ideas regarding learning guitar or beading?  For whatever reason, I let those things go. There are also friends and the desire for certain experiences that I “let go.” Now is the time to reclaim all of my “unlived” life.

Revisit The Possibility Of   A Spiritual Or Contemplative Practice

This can mean anything from formal religion to meditation to taking long walks in nature or gazing at the stars.  It means refining the “practice” of “being” rather than always “doing” something.  It means listening to beautiful music and/or doing anything that puts you in awe of the Universe and your place in it. 

In my view this practice can be the capstone of a life worth living. Its “zooming out” to a larger perspective and reaching a place of acceptance for all my life has been.

I’m working on this part, and I like to think I will be engaging in this practice up until the very end