Many years ago I received an unfavorable job evaluation. I remember distinctly that the main “complaint” was my apparent “inability” to follow through on job responsibilities that I myself had agreed to with great enthusiasm. My evaluator was puzzled and disappointed.  He further noted that “it is not a question of if you can perform the required duties, it is a question of if you will do them. This evaluation haunts me to this day because I recognize the truth in those words.  The difference is, that today I am not in a job situation with a “boss” who I report to.  I report only to myself in everything I do, and yet I still have a problem with “follow through”.

What is going on here?

I’ve thought about this “commitment” issue a lot, and wondered from time to time if I’ve just become “lazy”.  This is an easy answer, but I don’t think it’s correct, and it does not offer any solutions. I think the problem lies much deeper and has much more to do with this recurrent issue I have regarding faith in myself. 

Given the difficulty that many of us have with following through with New Years resolutions, I think I am not alone.  I think that many of us, at the core, suffer from bouts of self-doubt when it comes to tackling a goal that seems overwhelming at first…especially when we don’t see results immediately. I know for me I always wonder if I will fail.  If I don’t even try then I won’t fail.. Right?

Now that I’m in the third act of life I’m trying to have a very different stance about “failure”.  I have a diminishing amount of time ahead of me and there is simply not enough time to keep “putting things off”.  I probably will have some “setbacks” in achieving  many of the goals I have….but so what?  When you look at all the great inventions of man you will always see initial failures.  Its part of the process.

I’m trying out a new “mantra” on myself these days. I imagine myself, many years from now looking back on my current self.  What will I regret as I look back? Surely I will not regret the ups and downs of various “failures” that were an inevitable part of life…and a part of moving forward. 

No, I’m sure what I will regret are all the hopes and dreams I gave up on.  I will regret the times I didn’t even try. I know this because it has already happened to to other more “youthful” dreams I had in the past.

The point is, as I see it, to “Carpe diem”…or Seize the day”. There is no downside to continuing to push ourselves into new and possibly   uncomfortable situations that  may well allow life to unfold in ever-miraculous ways. You’ll never know if you don’t try.