Dating these days is not for the “faint of heart”. Sure, we have an abundance of dating apps to choose from, so availability and choice is not really the issue. It’s just that the process itself is difficult. There are so many times when it just doesn’t work out. This is hard on the old “ego” which inevitably is sensitive to the “sting” of rejection. Its just not a comfortable feeling to either be “rejected” or to do the “rejecting”.

What to do?

Take heart, take a deep breath, and consider a few “tips” that will enhance the possibility of finally getting it “right” this time. Paying attention to these “tips” will not guarantee that nobody gets hurt, but it will streamline the process of finding the right “match” in terms of someone who is both right for you and ready for long-term commitment.

Do A “Readiness” assessment on your potential partner

Many people entering the dating market whether online or in person, tend to focus on their own “readiness” to date. This is important, of course, but it’s also essential to really assess the “readiness” of the person you may be meeting for the first time. So, as you enter into those early conversations, it makes sense to focus on the other person. When you have an “external” focus, and are curious about someone other than yourself, you can begin to get a deeper sense of who this person is. Do they “open up” easily to you? Are they really ready for a long-term commitment or is there “unfinished business” from previous relationships?

Listening…should be the goal of your interactions with someone new. Remember that words are easy. Almost everyone who signs up for a dating app knows the “right” words to say, but do a persons actions match their words?
Figuring this out means digging a little deeper!

Is your potential partner curious about you?
As you begin to dig a little deeper into understanding who you are with, notice if they are equally curious about you. This dating process is like a dance, with each of you taking the lead at different points in the conversations. Does this process feel like a dance with equal participation from both of you?

Last but not least, take your time
Anything worthwhile having is definitely worthwhile waiting for, so be patient…with yourself and with the process.