Christmas 2021 did not go as planned for my family. I’m quite sure I am not alone. For starters, winter storms prevented us from having the “White” Christmas we had been looking forward to at our mountain cabin. Then, the “Omicron” variant invaded my home in the form of a positive test on Christmas day for my grown daughter. Our Christmas afternoon was spent on a Zoom call from my daughters’ basement quarantine as she spent the next five days in isolation. Yes….we were that family. On top of it all, it’s been a frantic search for rapid “home” covid tests, which are in short supply. I’m hoping to salvage some vestige of a holiday “in person” with my daughter, as soon as we can get a negative test.
I’m very humbled by this experience, and I’ve spent a good deal of time feeling depressed about it. As John Lennon is famous for saying “Life is what happens when you’re making other plans”. How true that is. Generally speaking, I’m pretty good at finally accepting “what is”, and making the best of it…but this year in the course of finally accepting “what is” I noticed something else…something unexpected.
Unexpected gifts that are wrapped up in initial disappointment
As the days went on and my daughter continued with her quarantine, I became the chief cook who carefully prepared food trays that I left at the bottom of the stairs. Yes, this is how it works. To my surprise, I discovered I enjoyed this daily task. My daughter, now 33 years old, appreciated my culinary efforts and this was rewarding because of my history with her. You see, during the teenage years, due to a number of difficult power struggles between us….my daughter did not allow me to feed and nurture her in the way it was happening now. I felt constantly rejected by her. So, this new dynamic was healing for us both. We did not talk about it. We just felt it.
It is never too late to heal the mistakes, miscommunications, and wounds from the past
This is the lesson I take from this holiday of constant disappointment. As so often happens, my family did not get what we had been expecting but in the end I at least, got so much more.
These are the “gifts” we should be always on the lookout for, I believe. It’s not the big stuff that we plan for, look forward to, and expect to happen. It’s the small, unexpected, unsolicited moments of grace, love, and forgiveness that can take your breath away.
As 2022 rolls around, I wish that all of you could experience these moments…the ones you don’t see coming. Notice, savor, and treasure these moments. You never know when they will happen again.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!